Being the parent of a child who has died isn't a club that anyone wants to join. It's an unimaginable horror for most families to even contemplate. Every mother worries about their child becoming ill or getting into an accident. No mother dreams that their child will die at the hands of the person who said they loved them. A man who entered your house holding your daughter's hand. A man who sat at table and ate dinner with you. A man who came into your home and celebrated holidays and you bought gifts for him. A man who promised that he would love and cherish your daughter for the rest of their lives. You had no clue what he meant was that, he would decide when that life ended. You live daily with the fact that you allowed that monster into your home and into your lives for the sake of the love of your daughter.
When your a mom to a child lost by an illness everyone wants to rally around and do their part to end that illness. When your mom to the child is been lost in an accident everyone wants to comfort and console you and tell you how tragic. But when your mom to an angel lost in domestic violence people look at you different. They question your ability as a parent. They question the intelligence of your child. They pity you instead of sympathizing with you because in their heads they have decided that their child would never put themselves in the position to be in a relationship that was violent. That there was something wrong with the relationship you shared with your child. No one wants to put the blame on the hands of the man who took your child alone. So, even in that elite group of the grieving parent you are an outcast.
But Angel moms of domestic violence are some of the most loving, caring, strong, gifted moms you will meet across this planet. We have a special kind of guardian angel on our shoulders. I believe these angels are the most powerful of angels because they still not only Comfort us but guide us to fight on, to strive on, to create a world better than the one they died in so violently. When my angel of domestic violence comes to protect me and others, she brings with her thousands of other angles to fight on my side. On the upside, being a mom to an angel lost to domestic violence, you are closer to heaven than anyone could ever imagine. There are moments in time that you swear you could hear your angel singing or laughing. Sometimes she can feel so close that if I close my I can feel like I'm in heaven with her right at that moment….. closer to God than I've ever been.
Tears of angel moms of domestic violence are the most special kind for God accounts for every one of them and makes a record. They are not only tears of grief but, tears of horror and happiness, mixed with pain and joy, thrown in with a little conviction. We cried out alone in the dark for someone, just anyone, to please understand. We want people to remember our angel and not run away from their memories.We have lost a piece of our souls to pure evil but yet we are protected by the pure love for our child.
So what is it like to be an angel mom to an angel of domestic violence? I hope and pray you never understand. On earth we are the lowest of the low but, in heaven we are the highest of the high for God understands what it's like to have a child who was murdered and he sends special angels holding our hands .
By Tara Woodlee
Ashleigh's Angel Mom & Patience’s MawMaw
After reading my heart... I want to say to all my fellow Angel Moms and Dads that you are Heroes and your Angel will be remembered.