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Angel Mom of Domestic Violence

6/23/2016

5 Comments

 
Picture
What is it like to be an angel mom to a child lost in domestic violence? Every day is like being torn between heaven and hell. You wake up each morning with a piece of you missing and screaming your child's name. And you go to bed every night thanking God for making it through another day yet, still screaming out that child's name. 
Being the parent of a child who has died isn't a club that anyone wants to join. It's an unimaginable horror for most families to even contemplate. Every mother worries about their child becoming ill or getting into an accident. No mother dreams that their child will die at the hands of the person who said they loved them. A man who entered your house holding your daughter's hand. A man who sat at table and ate dinner with you. A man who came into your home and celebrated holidays and you bought gifts for him. A man who promised that he would love and cherish your daughter for the rest of their lives. You had no clue what he meant was that, he would decide when that life ended. You live daily with the fact that you allowed that monster into your home and into your lives for the sake of the love of your daughter.
When your a mom to a child lost by an illness everyone wants to rally around and do their part to end that illness. When your mom to the child is been lost in an accident everyone wants to comfort and console you and tell you how tragic. But when your mom to an angel lost in domestic violence people look at you different. They question your ability as a parent. They question the intelligence of your child. They pity you instead of sympathizing with you because in their heads they have decided that their child would never put themselves in the position to be in a relationship that was violent. That there was something wrong with the relationship you shared with your child. No one wants to put the blame on the hands of the man who took your child alone. So, even in that elite group of the grieving parent you are an outcast.
But Angel moms of domestic violence are some of the most loving, caring, strong, gifted moms you will meet across this planet. We have a special kind of guardian angel on our shoulders. I believe these angels are the most powerful of angels because they still not only Comfort us but guide us to fight on, to strive on, to create a world better than the one they died in so violently. When my angel of domestic violence comes to protect me and others, she brings with her thousands of other angles to fight on my side. On the upside, being a mom to an angel lost to domestic violence,  you are closer to heaven than anyone could ever imagine. There are moments in time that you swear you could hear your angel singing or laughing. Sometimes she can feel so close that if I close my I can feel like I'm in heaven with her right at that moment….. closer to God than I've ever been.
Tears of angel moms of domestic violence are the most special kind for God accounts for every one of them and makes a record. They are not only tears of grief but, tears of horror and happiness,  mixed with pain and joy, thrown in with a little conviction. We cried out alone in the dark for someone, just anyone, to please understand. We want people to remember our angel  and not run away from their memories.We have lost a piece of our souls to pure evil but yet we are protected by the pure love for our child.
So what is it like to be an angel mom to an angel of domestic violence? I hope and pray you never understand. On earth we are the lowest of the low but, in heaven we are the highest of the high for God understands what it's like to have a child who was murdered and he sends special angels holding our hands .
By Tara Woodlee
Ashleigh's Angel Mom & Patience’s MawMaw

After reading my heart... I want to say to all my fellow Angel Moms and Dads that you are Heroes and your Angel will be remembered. 

5 Comments
Kelee Webster
9/26/2021 08:26:31 am

I did not lose my daughter, but she did go through a lot. Your words touched me so much, explained some really deep feelings I have and struggle with. Thank you so much for sharing. I send you big hugs for your loss and pray that many people get to read this and be effected as deeply as I was. Much love

Reply
Stephanie Sally
9/7/2022 10:35:10 pm

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    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    Tara Woodlee

    This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.

    The murder of a child is even worse and puts you in a very exclusive club (for lack of a better term) and even more exclusive is to have your grandchild murdered as well. It is a STOLEN GENERATION at the hands of the man/father who was suppose to love and protect them.


    I have decided to share this journey so that other parents can see that what they feel is in no way wrong. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE! This is my personal journey.

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