Today I remembered you out of nowhere I heard your song and remembered your smile, that beautiful smile of yours. I was trying to remember how long it´s been, 19 months today, wow time really does go by! Whenever I think of you, my heart breaks all over again, comes the sadness, regret, shame, love, affection, nostalgia I don´t understand why, after all these months, you still visit me in my dreams, the same girl, your beautiful eyes, the way you smiled and I wake up out of breath my heart pounding and sadness comes. I’ll always love you, time passes by but I will always love you, don’t misunderstand this please, I am happy where I am and the choices I´ve made, I love your dad and your sister and I will not trade that for anything but you will always be you. I miss our long conversations, our connection, our friendship we used to understand each other so well, I hope you remember that of us, then I lost you, I lost my grandchild......
I know you didn’t mean for me to hurt, I know you didn't want to die. I will never hate you, I never had any feelings of resentment I do have regrets, a bunch of them, I regret not fighting harder I regret you lived in such terror, it was never your fault and it wasn´t what I wanted you to grow up watching, I'm sorry. You are probably thinking I'm crazy for writing this now after so long , but this is me missing you tonight. Ashleigh I just wanted you to know I thought of you with love today and little Patience too.
I know you didn’t mean for me to hurt, I know you didn't want to die. I will never hate you, I never had any feelings of resentment I do have regrets, a bunch of them, I regret not fighting harder I regret you lived in such terror, it was never your fault and it wasn´t what I wanted you to grow up watching, I'm sorry. You are probably thinking I'm crazy for writing this now after so long , but this is me missing you tonight. Ashleigh I just wanted you to know I thought of you with love today and little Patience too.
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