Ashleigh's Patience Project

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I Will Always Love You(19 Months since passing away)

2/13/2014

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Today I remembered you out of nowhere I heard your song and remembered your smile, that beautiful smile of yours. I was trying to remember how long it´s been, 19 months today, wow time really does go by! Whenever I think of you, my heart breaks all over again, comes the sadness, regret, shame, love, affection, nostalgia I don´t understand why, after all these months, you still visit me in my dreams, the same girl, your beautiful eyes, the way you smiled and I wake up out of breath my heart pounding and sadness comes. I’ll always love you, time passes by but I will always love you, don’t misunderstand this please, I am happy where I am and the choices I´ve made, I love your dad and your sister and I will not trade that for anything but you will always be you. I miss our long conversations, our connection, our friendship we used to understand each other so well, I hope you remember that of us, then I lost you, I lost my grandchild......
I know you didn’t mean for me to hurt, I know you didn't want to die. I will never hate you, I never had any feelings of resentment I do have regrets, a bunch of them, I regret not fighting harder I regret you lived in such terror, it was never your fault and it wasn´t what I wanted you to grow up watching, I'm sorry. You are probably thinking I'm crazy for writing this now after so long , but this is me missing you tonight. Ashleigh I just wanted you to know I thought of you with love today and little Patience too.
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Ashleigh Would Have Been a Great Mom!

2/5/2014

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My sister recently found this picture of Ashleigh with my niece Evee when she was about a year old. During this last week with the joy of a new Grandbaby I've become painfully aware of everything I have missed out on with Ashleigh and Patience. I should be putting pictures like this up on my Facebook wall of an older Ashleigh with her little one year old Patience Lynn. She would have been such a great mom! I love and miss her so much.
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month so talk to your kids about abusive relationships. Watching a child be abused and murdered is not how you want your child to see love as during their lives. I should know

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    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    Tara Woodlee

    This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.

    The murder of a child is even worse and puts you in a very exclusive club (for lack of a better term) and even more exclusive is to have your grandchild murdered as well. It is a STOLEN GENERATION at the hands of the man/father who was suppose to love and protect them.


    I have decided to share this journey so that other parents can see that what they feel is in no way wrong. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE! This is my personal journey.

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