I know you didn’t mean for me to hurt, I know you didn't want to die. I will never hate you, I never had any feelings of resentment I do have regrets, a bunch of them, I regret not fighting harder I regret you lived in such terror, it was never your fault and it wasn´t what I wanted you to grow up watching, I'm sorry. You are probably thinking I'm crazy for writing this now after so long , but this is me missing you tonight. Ashleigh I just wanted you to know I thought of you with love today and little Patience too.
Today I remembered you out of nowhere I heard your song and remembered your smile, that beautiful smile of yours. I was trying to remember how long it´s been, 19 months today, wow time really does go by! Whenever I think of you, my heart breaks all over again, comes the sadness, regret, shame, love, affection, nostalgia I don´t understand why, after all these months, you still visit me in my dreams, the same girl, your beautiful eyes, the way you smiled and I wake up out of breath my heart pounding and sadness comes. I’ll always love you, time passes by but I will always love you, don’t misunderstand this please, I am happy where I am and the choices I´ve made, I love your dad and your sister and I will not trade that for anything but you will always be you. I miss our long conversations, our connection, our friendship we used to understand each other so well, I hope you remember that of us, then I lost you, I lost my grandchild......
I know you didn’t mean for me to hurt, I know you didn't want to die. I will never hate you, I never had any feelings of resentment I do have regrets, a bunch of them, I regret not fighting harder I regret you lived in such terror, it was never your fault and it wasn´t what I wanted you to grow up watching, I'm sorry. You are probably thinking I'm crazy for writing this now after so long , but this is me missing you tonight. Ashleigh I just wanted you to know I thought of you with love today and little Patience too.
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![]() My sister recently found this picture of Ashleigh with my niece Evee when she was about a year old. During this last week with the joy of a new Grandbaby I've become painfully aware of everything I have missed out on with Ashleigh and Patience. I should be putting pictures like this up on my Facebook wall of an older Ashleigh with her little one year old Patience Lynn. She would have been such a great mom! I love and miss her so much. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month so talk to your kids about abusive relationships. Watching a child be abused and murdered is not how you want your child to see love as during their lives. I should know |
Tara WoodleeThis is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death. Archives
June 2016
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