Ashleigh's Patience Project

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Turning To Ashleigh's Bible For Strength As The 1 Year Anniversary Of Her Murder Approaches (Ashleigh's Scriptures)

6/30/2013

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I have been stuggling a lot lately comprehending that in 2 weeks it will be a year since my beautiful Ashleigh was murdered. I'm still not sure what to do that day to honor her memory. Personally, I more and more just want to spend July 13th in bed with the covers pulled over my head. 
I came home from church and spent some time in her room. I don't know why but I ended up picking up her Bible and flipping thru the pages. I learned somethings about my daughter and her heart amongst the passages that she had underlined and highlighted. These really meant something to her heart and spoke to her. Some of the passages surprised me, and others I knew she loved and still others made me cry. Cry with tears wrapped in joy that only Ashleigh could bring. 
So, I decided that over the next 2 weeks I would post a new unposted picture of Ashleigh and one of her highlighted Bible verses each day. Today will be the shortest one since this post is already getting long. I think she would really like that.......I miss her so much!

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:5
 

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Ashleigh Was the Fireworks

6/26/2013

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Because of the 4th of July coming up soon they keep playing on the radio, Firework by Katy Perry. The first time I heard it on the radio I was in the car with Ashleigh. She always had to have music playing. She was constantly breaking out into songs and laughter. Anyway, we heard the song and I told her that if I could write her a song that would be how I felt about her. After that whenever we would hear it playing we would sing it as loud as we could. If it came on and the other wasn't there we would text the words to each other. We did that often with songs. I consider it one of her songs. Now when I hear it playing, whether in the car or at a store, I cry everytime. But I force myself to sing it and then my tears mix with laughter and joy of the tremendous memory she was given me. I can see her next to me singing and dancing, doing goofy things to make you smile as only Ashleigh could. She was the Fireworks and she stole the Show........I miss you Ashleigh.....


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Hand Heart....Sending I Love You's

6/22/2013

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The story behind this picture.......everyone who knew Ashleigh knows she was ALWAYS blowing kisses, drew a heart with her fingers and then point to you thru it to say she loved you, or she would make the heart with her hands and yell,"I Love You!!!" I miss all those little things she would do because it cemented all that knew her in their hearts.
Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence designed their knew tank tops with the purple hands making a heart. I had to have it.......brought tears when it came in the mail. Kristen, you had no idea what this shirt means to me. I hope everyone who reads this or bought one, thinks of this has a symbol of my Ashleigh's heart. We can help others realize they are special and speak out with support for us who lived it. Love y'all!!!
 

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Dear God (11 Months since passing away)

6/13/2013

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Dear God, It seems like only yesterday when I brought my little girl home.
But it feels like an eternity since she has been gone.
She was always with me we did everything together.
I guess I took her for granted and thought she would live forever.

Dear God, The day she left she took a piece of my heart.
It was the first time since I gave her life that we would be apart.
All I could think is my life is through
Now I know each day away will bring me one day closer to her....
When my time is over and life on earth is done
I'll meet Ashleigh in Heaven and we’ll walk together with Patience as one.

Dear God, please take care of my little girl,
The one with big blue eyes, and soft brown curls.
She was special, as you should know,I really didn’t want to let her go.
She touched the hearts of everyone she knew
Letting her go was so hard to do
Her smile could brighten up the darkest room
I wish you didn’t have to take her so soon.

Dear God, I imagine her sitting and rocking Patience
Singing to her and telling her stories,
Tell her mommy loves her and wishes she could be here,
But it won’t be for many more years.
She loves to sing all kinds of songs,
Please tell her that she did no wrong.
Would you comfort her and hold her in your arms tight,
And tell her she is missed every day and night.

Dear God, Tell her she is loved so very dear
I’ll say it every day for her to hear.
Her short life on earth is now completed,
For lessons I’m sure you felt I needed.
Tell her I promise to see her again someday
When that will be, I really can’t say
I promise to make up for the time that’s past
To hold her and love her, in my arms at last.

I miss you Ashleigh......I can't believe it has been 11 months today since you left to be with Patience. Everyday I still cry a little for you. Sometimes I hear you say, "I love you, Mommy!" Then I smile for you are my heart. Love you too, Baby! Always and Forever!
Mommy.
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The Day Ashleigh Left Joshua For Good (message from Heather)

6/6/2013

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Ashleigh's roommate Heather sent me this picture with this message....
The night Ashleigh came to live with me, we went to the Sandbass Festival and she wanted to ride the Ferriswheel. I took this picture of her. It was also the night she got her Cowgirl Up bracelet. This was a special moment for me. It started a friendship brought together by God. She inspired me then and now. I am here for you, Tara! 
Thank you Heather for letting me share this picture and message. Saturday, June 8th at 9am at the stage at the Sandbass Festival in Madill, OK.....I will be speaking about Bullying and Domestic Violence and of Ashleigh and Patience. This Event is special because it marks a year Anniversary of her leaving the abuse......I invite everyone who can go attend...bring your friends...hopefully I will see you Saturday morning.

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She is Still Saving Lives

6/2/2013

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A little while ago Jim called me. He is driving in New Mexico, working. He got pulled into a DOT inspection station. The Dot officer saw he In Loving Memory of Ashleigh Lindsey magnet on the side of his truck.
He asked Jim,"Who was she to you?"
Jim said," My daughter."
The Dot officer then said, "She is the one with the RIP page that has the Ashleigh's Patience Project, Right?"
of coarse Jim answered,"yes"
Then he told Jim how he had a daughter that had been in an abusive relationship for 5 years. After seeing Ashleigh's page she finally left him and is now hiding in safety. Isn't that Incredible!
Ashleigh, baby you are still changing lives. I love and miss you so much. Thank you Lord for letting me hear this right now when I needed it most. Things like this is why I share her story.

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TV Show Trigger Breakdown

6/1/2013

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I find myself this week daily fighting to not uncontrollably cry or to feel this overwhelming panic every time the phone rings. This week began the daily horror that lead up to Ashleigh's murder. Each day I struggle not to replay that exact day from last year over in my head. And I'm afraid everyday will be like that till July 13th comes. So, today this very moment I've decided to stop fighting my emotions and just let it all out. Everyday between now and July 13th maybe painful to endure and I maybe what people will deem over emotional but at least I will feel. At least I have loved someone worth those feelings and God has never left my side to comfort me. Ashleigh is always with me in my heart. I think letting it out and to just rage and cry made it easier to see how many blessings still surround me and my family.

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My daughter Raechel and I had a very emotional hour filled with tears. I was watching one of my favorite shows that Ashleigh got me watching......anyway the ending was so unexpected. A pregnant women got stabbed in the belly and I just lost it. So many memories of Ashleigh washed over me in a second and I just cried. It didn't help that one year ago today Joshua beat her and kicked her in the stomach and then tied her up. It was on my mind all day and I couldn't shake it. Then my phone rang and it was Raechel crying. She had watched the show and it triggered the same thing in her. I felt less crazy by her call. We cried and talked till we laughed about Ashleigh. Funny the things that will trigger the pain in your heart. Thankfully, Raechel and I had each other tonight.

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    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    Tara Woodlee

    This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.

    The murder of a child is even worse and puts you in a very exclusive club (for lack of a better term) and even more exclusive is to have your grandchild murdered as well. It is a STOLEN GENERATION at the hands of the man/father who was suppose to love and protect them.


    I have decided to share this journey so that other parents can see that what they feel is in no way wrong. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE! This is my personal journey.

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