Went to the cemetery and tied a little purple bow to Ashleigh's head stone for October. Still miss her. The ground above the grass has all grown over it now. I just laid there with her for a while till I heard her voice in my head say "mom get up. I've done told you I'm not there." So I got up and smiled. I couldn't stay there like that forever and she would have kicked my butt if I had tried.

Everyone has their own 9/11/2001 story. Where were they and what they were doing.....This is mine.........

I got up early to get Raechel and Ashleigh ready for school. We lived in Denison, TX during that time. Raechel was in the 7th grade(middle school) and Ashleigh was in 4th grade(elementary school) and the schools were clear across town from one another. We got in the car and put on the morning music. As we got up to the Middle school to let Raechel out the morning radio men broke in and said that a plane had hit one of the Twin Towers. I remember saying out loud "that is not funny. They shouldn't joke like that." 
Raechel said, "I don't think they are joking." 
And without missing a beat Ashleigh, who was 9 at the time says, " It's Terrorist!"
I could see the fear on Raechel's face and I said, "no, it is just an accident." I kissed Raechel and let her out for school. Ashleigh crawled into the front seat.
Now, we are driving across town and I question Ashleigh on what she knows about Terrorist. Ashleigh looks at me and says, "well I remember when they blew up the building in Oklahoma City. Plus I heard you and Dad talk about people trying to blow up that building before. I'm telling you mom, it is Terrorist." 
I thought, wow I really got to watch what you say around kids because she was diffenantly listening. Again, I tried to reassure her but then as we pulled up to her school they came on the radio again saying the second building had been hit but a plane. Ashleigh was all bounce in her seat, "I TOLD YOU IT IS TERRORIST, MOM!!!"
I looked at her and told her she was probably right. I debated taking her home but the school seemed unconcerned at that time so, I left her. Ashleigh was just jumping around telling all her friends, "the Terrorist were attacking." Most of them had no clue what she was talking about. 
I went home to get ready for work. Of coarse the TV was on the whole time. I quickly got into my car to hurry to work. I worked at the local mall at Zales. Again they came on the radio and said the Pentagon was now struck and America was under attack. I got to work and of coarse the only people at the mall that day was us workers. Across the hall was a Foot Locker and they had their TV's on and many of us gathered there and watched the Towers burn and then collapse. Raechel called me at work crying when they fell. The classrooms had their TV's on and the kids were watching it to. Then mall management came around and said Malls across the country were receiving bomb threats and they had decided to close this mall for safety. That was around 11:30am. As I was closing the store Ashleigh called, the schools were closing as well. I picked up the girls and went home. I remember holding them thinking the world was coming to an end. You just don't know how long things will last. 
I know this I will never forget that day and the little 9 year old girl who was sharp enough to figure out what was happening that day in an instant. She was just that smart. Every year she would remind me that she was right and how she was still so heartbroken for everyone who died that day. Her heart was just that big. I wish she was still here to remind me but since she isn't I thought why not share the memory. So, here it is.....not just my 9/11 story but hers as well.
 — with Ashleigh Lindsey.

I can tell it is going to be one of those weeks already. Have a Statis Hearing this Thursday, with Joshua Scott over the knives made in his cell that more than likely get postponed again. I go to every hearing anyway because you never know what is going to happen. I got a bill in the mail again for Ashleigh. I would like to know.....how many times do I have to call these people and explain that my daughter is dead? She is not going to be able to pay that bill, I don't care how many statements you send me. I hate that I call them everytime and they say they are "so sorry" and will take care of the account, yet here we are.......just absolutely frustrating. Worst of all, this Friday will be the first Friday the 13th since Ashleigh passed away. I'm not sure how to feel, yet. Prayed about it a lot today. Sometimes certain emotions come, sadness, anger, hate, loneliness etc.......those times are easier to deal with than when you have Every Emotion hit you all at once. I think this week is going to be one of those that you just can't explain and only someone who has lost a child so violently can understand. I guess that is why I have relied on God so heavily. He knows what that is like to watch a child die so violently. Yet, Jesus did that willingly for us. Gave his life. I still consider myself blessed because I will be with Ashleigh again. I just miss her so much now!