What is it like to be an angel mom to a child lost in domestic violence? Every day is like being torn between heaven and hell. You wake up each morning with a piece of you missing and screaming your child's name. And you go to bed every night thanking God for making it through another day yet, still screaming out that child's name. 
Being the parent of a child who has died isn't a club that anyone wants to join. It's an unimaginable horror for most families to even contemplate. Every mother worries about their child becoming ill or getting into an accident. No mother dreams that their child will die at the hands of the person who said they loved them. A man who entered your house holding your daughter's hand. A man who sat at table and ate dinner with you. A man who came into your home and celebrated holidays and you bought gifts for him. A man who promised that he would love and cherish your daughter for the rest of their lives. You had no clue what he meant was that, he would decide when that life ended. You live daily with the fact that you allowed that monster into your home and into your lives for the sake of the love of your daughter.
When your a mom to a child lost by an illness everyone wants to rally around and do their part to end that illness. When your mom to the child is been lost in an accident everyone wants to comfort and console you and tell you how tragic. But when your mom to an angel lost in domestic violence people look at you different. They question your ability as a parent. They question the intelligence of your child. They pity you instead of sympathizing with you because in their heads they have decided that their child would never put themselves in the position to be in a relationship that was violent. That there was something wrong with the relationship you shared with your child. No one wants to put the blame on the hands of the man who took your child alone. So, even in that elite group of the grieving parent you are an outcast.
But Angel moms of domestic violence are some of the most loving, caring, strong, gifted moms you will meet across this planet. We have a special kind of guardian angel on our shoulders. I believe these angels are the most powerful of angels because they still not only Comfort us but guide us to fight on, to strive on, to create a world better than the one they died in so violently. When my angel of domestic violence comes to protect me and others, she brings with her thousands of other angles to fight on my side. On the upside, being a mom to an angel lost to domestic violence,  you are closer to heaven than anyone could ever imagine. There are moments in time that you swear you could hear your angel singing or laughing. Sometimes she can feel so close that if I close my I can feel like I'm in heaven with her right at that moment….. closer to God than I've ever been.
Tears of angel moms of domestic violence are the most special kind for God accounts for every one of them and makes a record. They are not only tears of grief but, tears of horror and happiness,  mixed with pain and joy, thrown in with a little conviction. We cried out alone in the dark for someone, just anyone, to please understand. We want people to remember our angel  and not run away from their memories.We have lost a piece of our souls to pure evil but yet we are protected by the pure love for our child.
So what is it like to be an angel mom to an angel of domestic violence? I hope and pray you never understand. On earth we are the lowest of the low but, in heaven we are the highest of the high for God understands what it's like to have a child who was murdered and he sends special angels holding our hands .
By Tara Woodlee
Ashleigh's Angel Mom & Patience’s MawMaw

After reading my heart... I want to say to all my fellow Angel Moms and Dads that you are Heroes and your Angel will be remembered. 

 When I think of Patience this scripture come to mind.....
"For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.  My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.' (Psalm 139:14-16)
 This subject of loss and how to handle grief and comforting those who grieve is so near & dear to my heart. I once heard it said that you can’t measure grief by the number of gestational weeks of the pregnancy. In Dr. Seuss’ “Horton Hears A Who”, Horton sums it up best when he says, “a person’s a person, no matter how small”.
One thing I think is really important is to understand the nature of grief itself. The problem is that dealing with loss is so foreign to most people that it’s rare to have someone empathetic enough to just come up and and express love and use your child’s name thus recognizing both your pain and their existence.
Perhaps the biggest obstacle to overcome is the common belief that we will eventually “get over” the loss, or move on, especially when there are other children or a new one comes along. It’s hard for some people to understand why there is a groups of moms who get together once a year for a lunch in memorial of our angels a year, 2 years and 13, or 30 years later, fresh tears may fall on the anniversary of our child’s death. Even my Pastor did not understand the magnitude of my grief and not knowing how to help he would ask; “Do you need to see a therapist?”
This question made me mad. And in my head I thought, “No, I just need my baby back”. Tired of grieving, I wanted answers and peace. Thru those long months I was brought to my knees in prayerful agony. I abandoned the formality I had been taught as a child to address our Father in Heaven. I railed angrily at Him. Chest heaving with no tears left in my broken heart, I begged please, please, tell me if I would know my child/all my Children, will be together again? Are they together now with my granddaughter as well? 
I came across this definition of grief that I think explains it best:

Grief is often thought of to be a period of time in which someone is sad over the death of one with whom they had a close relationship. It is not that simple. Grief is not a behavior. Mourning is a behavior that occurs within grief. Generally people believe that when the socially recognized period of mourning has ended, so does grief. Grief continues, with episodes of mourning. Grief is not a condition that can be treated. Grief can precipitate deep depression and physical ailments, which are often treatable, but grief itself cannot be treated. One cannot engage in a series of exercises to “get over it”. Grief represents a life change. When one has experienced the deat of someone close to them the environment of their life changes. Just as adulthood or marriage or career represent changes, grief represents changes. Grief is not a desired change however. When it occurs, a person is bereaved for life. Bereavement is a status represented by periods of grief and mourning. Recognizing that 1) there is no time limit to grief and 2) that grief changes who a person is, makes dealing with grieving people more understandable.
Over time, my grief received comfort in the knowledge that all my children(Ashleigh, Jude, Abigale, & Jamie) are living in Heaven with Jesus, watches over us. This includes my Granddaughter Patience Lynn. It is so painful to not have her here and having a big Birthday party today. I always thought 2 year old Birthdays were one of the best because they can open their own presents and have such joy on their faces. I wont see that joy for a very long time. Importantly is the promise God has made to me.... I am his Mawmaw and she is my grandchild. I believe I have the promise of knowing him in the next life. A loving God holds our earthly sense of belonging in His merciful hand. Today I read my answer in the Bible and finally I was at peace.

I wanted to share something I read that impacted me this Christmas Day.

Christmas is a time when, together with millions of people around, we pause to reflect on the power of one life. More than any other holiday, Christmas teaches us the value of life. Part of the beauty of the Christmas story is the underlying humility – God sent His son to be born in a manger. He could have come as a conquering king, with all the trappings. But instead God chose to teach us that one life – no matter how humble the beginnings – can change the world.
Isaiah says something profound in predicting the impact of this one life unto US a child is born. His words reflect a truth that while a child may come into a family by marriage, by birth or by adoption, a child is a gift to us all, as the ripple effect of a life well lived changes all who are touched by him or her.
 When we are children we are usually still focused on getting. As we get older those lists start to take on the significance of being a chronicle, an inventory of those who are integral to our very existence—those who bring meaning to our days; who laugh with us, and share our sorrows.Our Christmas lists are not really about stuff to buy, but people to honor. The list is Life. The list is people we love.
Do you ever wonder who we are missing?
My life would not have been the same without the wonderful memories of days spent enjoying the simple pleasures of just being together with my family and friends.I miss my Grandparents,Noel and Jeannie Whitwood, my Dad, John Douglas, my Niece, Katelynn Woodlee.....but most of all my daughter Ashleigh and granddaughter, Patience Lynn.
 Merry Christmas to all our loved ones not here with us. These are the people who impacted generations in my life. Now they are with the one who impacted us all Christ Jesus, and he will bring us back together.

 This has been in the works for a month now and I'm proud to annouce Ashleigh & Patience's Story will now save lives in Queensland Australia. The resource will be officially developed by “Push Productions and the Integrated Family and Youth Service (IFYS)
what they are developing is a booklet. It will be A5 size and just a soft paperback. IFYS is also going to do an online .pdf version which will have a direct hyperlink to Ashleigh’s Patience Project  website. The resource includes:

1. Types of abuse (including; social, emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, technological, and financial abuse)
2. Cycle of Violence – we are developing our own Cycle of Violence Graphic. I have found that when I use the cycle of violence graphics with some young women they find it quite confusing so we are developing a more easy to understand version.
3. Unhealthy relationships Quiz – young women can take this quiz to help them identify signs of violence in their relationship
4. What does the law say – we are including a section on new legislation in Queensland, Australia. In 2012 they changed the legislation to include all types of domestic violence (including social, emotional, financial and technological) so that individuals who are in abusive relationships that don’t have physical or sexual abuse can still be protected under the law.
5. Safety plan – We have developed three safety plans: 1. Increasing safety in the relationship, 2. Preparing to leave the relationship, 3. Living safely after separation. The aim is that young women reading the resource can develop their own safety plans.
6. Personal Story – Ashleigh Lindsey & Patience’s story
7. Personal Story – Wendy Maldonado
8.   Help is available – in this section we have listed heaps of different ways that young women can access help from online counselling, to phone counselling, to informative websites, to local services on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland that they can access support from. 

 As Ashleigh's Mom I am so amazed at the blessing that continue to come even 2 years after her death. Please remember October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. 1 in 4 women are effected. By sharing and caring you never know what life you are saving. 
Tara

As you can imagine some days are better than others. Sometimes it's just moment by moment when you have lost a child. The last few days I've had some tremendous ups. Some really great things going on with the Ashleigh's Patience Project. And I've enjoyed the last two days that I spent with my daughter and my granddaughter. But as always my mind is never far away from Ashleigh and from Patience. Today, in doing the constant work of gathering information for the documentary I have received pictures of Ashleigh  when she was in the hospital. Even though you've been through it, every minute, next to her, holding her hand while she even passed away and that mental image just never leaves your head when you're the mother of the child that has been murdered.........you just never get used to seeing the utter ruin of the most beautiful thing that was ever created by you. And I see in the news every night, every day on Facebook, a murder victim of someone else's hate and I wonder how can people be so cruel? No not cruel, EVIL!!!!! For people to be so evil, that their moment of a total explosion of hate, that they take it out on someone that they claimed at one point to love. They just kill regardless of how many other people out there who really love this person and depend upon them and they just take that life without thought...... so carelessly. I cannot explain to you how devastating every moment of every day is, even through happy times do come, there are moments where you feel guilty for being happy because there's always an underlying sense of this part of you that is missing. This person who is missing from every family function. You can no longer pick up the phone and just call at a moments notice. The person who's been, in every way, was the best part of you. I know lots of people do not understand why I put myself through all this...... in their opinions I should just let it go but it never goes away. So in my mind and my heart I must stand up against evil. Evil may have taken my daughter but, it didn't triumph over her legacy or her memory for us as a family. I have no doubt one day, my family will be whole and together again and in a place where evil cannot touch us. But until then, During my time here I'm choosing...... I'm choosing to speak out. I'm choosing to say no more! I'm choosing to make a difference so that one more mother and one more daughter, one more granddaughter hopefully will never have to suffer. For every one of us who had to suffer that day in the hospital, search for a place just to touch Ashleigh that wasn't covered in blood, to say our goodbyes, I will take a stand. I will never see that happened to an another family if  I can in my lifetime. this is what Ashleigh would have me do as the mother she knows and loves. This is how I honor her everyday but especially this Day of Remembrance.

On next Tuesday, September 23rd at 9:00am, I have been invited to speak before a Judical Committee over the placement of Joshua Scott in a Medium Security Prison. For two days now I've been working on a letter that is for the committee to review before next weeks meeting. I'm looking forward to seeing what can be done to get my daughter & granddaughters murderer where he belongs. All of this brings up so many emotions that you just can't probably imagine. I literally feel like I've been hit and all the breathe taken from me today. I miss Ashleigh so much that it's unbelievable at times. Especially, when you have to do things that make you have to sit and think and write out what happened to her all over again and what has happened to my family since then. Hopefully, it'll be worth it in the end. I really hope that we can get things accomplished so that Josh is where he belongs & my family doesn't have to live in fear. As Ashleigh's mom it's the right thing to do. The only thing that I can do to help honor her memory is to be sure she gets the appropriate type of justice within the system. That includes Joshua Scott being in a maximum-security facility and not just a medium security prison. So please, over the course of the next week sign the petition if you haven't. Share it if you have. Especially, with any of your friends that live in Oklahoma. It's really important and it has made a difference. Thank you!

My name is Tara Woodlee. My daughter Ashleigh Lindsey and her unborn baby Patience Lynn along with a man named Chad Page were murdered by Joshua Scott and Joshua Mahaffey on July 13, 2012. After shooting my daughter, Joshua Mahaffey turned the gun and killed himself. Joshua Scott was brought into custody and charged with three counts of first-degree murder. He was also charged with larceny, burglary, and Harboring a Fugitive. Joshua Scott was up for the death penalty during the trial. His lawyer came to the families asked for us to consider a plea bargain. We allowed the plea bargain and Joshua Scott was sentenced to three counts of life without parole to run consecutively in the Oklahoma penitentiary. The reason the families agreed to the plea wasn't fear of losing but a belief that this sentencing would be just as good as the death penalty. Something that the DA in this case assured us was so and that this man would go to a Maximum Security Prison. 

Chad Page's murder: Case #

• MURDER, FIRST DEGREE
• LARCENY OF AUTOMOBILE

Case IdentifierMarshall OK — CF-2012-00163http://www1.odcr.com/detail?court=048-&casekey=048-CF++1200163

Ashleigh Lindsey & unborn child's murder: Case #

• BURGLARY-1ST DEGREE
• MURDER, FIRST DEGREE
• MURDER, FIRST DEGREE
• CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT A FELONY

Case IdentifierMarshall OK — CF-2012-00192http://www1.odcr.com/detail?court=048-&casekey=048-CF++1200192

Recently, we were notified that Joshua Scott was being transferred from maximum-security prison in McAlester Oklahoma to a lesser facility in Stringtown Oklahoma which is only medium security. Of coarse as families of the victims we were thrown. We began making phone calls inquiring as to why? We found out that this was done based off a point system done within the Oklahoma Department of corrections. In the Oklahoma Corrections Institute they do an investigation of the crimes committed. This is done thru a packet sent by the local jail. They send this packet with him during the transfer of the inmate to a prison facility. In this investigation they assign murderers a point system based on the crimes he's committed and previous crimes. Joshua Scott even though he is convicted of murdering three innocent people in the most heinous ways was given Points that would only allow him to be in a medium correctional facility.

The PDF sent to us by the Board of Corrections on Male Initial Custody Assessment Procedures...

PDF Worksheet for evaluation.
http://www.ok.gov/doc/documents/060102a(m).pdf

It is devastating to our family to know that a man that should've been on death row but at the kindness of our hearts we allowed to have life in prison, thinking and told that this would be just as equal a punishment....that the system has now rewarded us with him not going to a maximum facility where he should've been on death row, but to a medium facility where we are afraid that he could at any time get out and make good on his threats to witnesses that he would kill them and to kill and rape myself and my surviving daughter, Ashleigh's sister. This is the only child I have left alive.
This man watched my daughter be abused, beaten, raped, (he literally watched the sex acts committed against her, my daughter claimed he enjoyed and got off on it) and tied up, all while she was pregnant at the hands of his best friend and roommate Joshua Mahaffey. Never once did he call the police to help her even when she begged. Mr. Scott participated in 45 days of brutal stalking after she left. He helped Mahaffey with relentlace  threatening phone calls to my daughter, her family and friends. They would literally call an text my phone alone 20 times a day. Mr. Scott participated in an mind blowing Facebook stalking campaign that involved him and Mahaffey creating over 20 fake Facebook accounts that both of these men would friend Ashleigh's friends and lie in an effort to find her. (All of this was/is provable thru phone and Facebook records and statements give by my daughter to the police). These two men called my daughters work place and threatened to kill everyone who answered the phone. Threatened the manager that they would kill everyone there and burn the place down around them if they didn't put my daughter on the phone. The police were called out then and more charges filed. Mr. Scott even posted a picture of the gun on Facebook just hours before the murders and it is still there to this day. When they did find her, they then stole a car from man named Chad Page and he shot him four times in cold blood twice in the head,(one of those shots was in the eye) and stole money from his wallet. In the statement given to his girl friend and her mother (who were to be witnesses for the State) he claimed he shot Chad 3 times, dumped his body in a marsh like area on the side of the road, started to drive away but noticed he was still alive. He backed up the car, got out and did the final shot to the eye. In his statement written the the Judge in the case it was to "put him out of his misery." 
He did this in order to pick up Ashleigh's ex fiancé, his best friend and hunt Ashleigh down so they could murder her. They went to Ashleigh's job first but she was not at work yet. How many more people would have died had she been there, I wonder? Ashleigh's friends who were witnesses on the scene were in very much danger because he threatened to kill them all if they told he was there. Mr. Scott then stole their phones and money as well. And even when one of the witnesses broke away to call the police next door, he asked for a cigarette from and other witness and smoked it while seeing my daughter was still alive, gasping for air with her brains exposed(this according to his own statement given to his girlfriend and her mother who were to be witnesses for the State). He watched and would not allow anyone to call for help for Ashleigh. Joshua Scott was later caught and convicted. But while waiting in the county jail for the trial he was found to have made four shanks and had told other inmates of a plan to kill corrections officers and get out and kill the victims and their families. Charges by the State for contraband was done by the State over the knives and escape but dropped for the plea bargain. This was back in December 2013. Now to be only a medium security risk and have him only hours away from all his victims.

• POSSESSION OF CONTRABAND IN JAIL

Case IdentifierMarshall OK — CF-2013-00042http://www1.odcr.com/detail?court=048-&casekey=048-CF++1300042

This is not the kind of man that should be in an medium security facility where he endangers other inmates, guards and we survivors of this tragedy have to live in fear of his escaping and fulling his promises to kill again. So, I did my own investigating and phone calls in order to understand how this could happen and if I was being told correctly. This is a record of that process...

Once Joshua Scott was sentenced the county jail processes him with a packet and then the inmate is sent to Lexington as a type of sorting facility that everyone is processed through Lexington before they are moved on to their assign facility. Joshua Scott was sent  from Lexington to Oklahoma State penitentiary. And then of course we know that he was moved from there to the medium security facility in Stringtown Oklahoma. And now he is in Dick Connor north of Tulsa still in a medium security prison
I talked to the woman in charge of doing the packets from Marshall County by the name of Dosha. She said that the packet was done properly and sent on to Lexington. That in that packet he has all the things that indicate from the sheriffs office that would give the prison system the ability to give him an upgraded rating above the points that he had on his processing paper work from the convictions themselves. This included 2 escape attempts within the County jail. Dosha conveyed that the reason she was able to send him on to Lexington so quickly was because of a failed second attempt at at escape. I have not been able to speak with anyone in Lexington. But I have spoke with a lady by the name of Mirah who is in charge of records at the Oklahoma State penitentiary. She is the person who takes all of Joshua Scott's information including the packet and gives him the equated points with his offenses in order to know what facility he would be transferred. Mirah has told me that Joshua Scott's packet was not sent with him to the Oklahoma State penitentiary. Lexington was supposed to do that within 90 days. At this point I would like to question why an evaluation was done without a packet?
Now in talking with Mirah, she says that if the packet is sent on to her and the facility that contains Joshua Scott they will be able to give him a re-evaluation in which if the things that we have discussed as far as Joshua's behavior are in them,she would be able to do an override on his points. The Override would give her the ability to put him into a maximum facility. I have obtained the PDF on how this works. ( this is the PDF to Male Assessment Procedure that I attached above.)

Now, what I want to share with you that I found disturbing thru that week of my questioning and investigating how the process and everything works is the following....... my first call was to the prison and Stringtown, in talking with them they convey to me that Joshua was sent there based off of good behavior points. When I questioned how he could receive such good behavior points, within six months, they referred me to Oklahoma State penitentiary to answer my question. When I called Oklahoma State penitentiary, they informed me that it had nothing to do with good behavior points that it had to do with the point system regarding PDF that I will be sending to you. Of course, in speaking with Mirah we had a detailed discussion on how the override could proceed. So, I called back Stringtown and talk to them there they had no clue how the point system works. And one of the workers there said "oh so that's how that all works."
Later that day I had a conversation with the Miss Jackson of victim services. And discussed with her what Mirah had said about the override. She had indicated to me that that was a lie. That this process could not be overridden and made no exceptions for violent murderers like Joshua Scott. Also we contacted someone with the board of corrections. Between us, friends, Victims of his other crimes,(robbery, larceny etc....)and Chad Pages family, we had been told by the border corrections this is just the way it is that as long as he was in a secure facility everything would be okay. But in contacting the warden and another officials at Stringtown and at Dick Connor, I was informed that their facilities were not capable of housing criminals of the caliber of Joshua Scott. That they did not usually take in first degree, life without parole felons like him. They found it very unusual and had made it clear that they were not confident in being able to securely keep him there. But when questioning more people outside of that facility (mainly the Prison Board) they kept saying he was secure.

Two weeks after being told that Medium was just as good as Maximum Security, that he could not escape, 26-year-old Aaron Kelsey was discovered missing from the medium-security prison, which has a capacity of nearly 1,000 inmates. Oklahoma Department of Corrections spokeswoman Terri Watkins says 26-year-old Aaron Kelsey was arrested without incident Friday afternoon at an acquaintance's house in Denison, Texas. Kelsey was discovered missing Wednesday during a 6 p.m. head count at a medium security facility at the Oklahoma State Reformatory in Granite. Watkins said Kelsey "basically walked away."Prison records show Kelsey was serving time for convictions in Bryan County of second-degree burglary, possession of a firearm during probation, and use of a vehicle in the discharge of a weapon. That means this man was gone 48 hours before capture. In my eyes this would be more than enough time if Mr. Scott was to escape for him to make good on his threats to kill us all. Like I said before, I have only one daughter left and she has just recently had a baby. I have to protect them by all means possible. The worst did happen in our lives and we are to aware of how the system can fail you without meaning to with the murder of Ashleigh & baby Patience.

Link to news article on Aaron Kelsey escape:
http://www.kxii.com/home/headlines/Escaped-Oklahoma-inmate-captured-in-Denison-268627502.html?device=tablet
Now let me ask you, who am I to believe? Administrators who tell me not to worry like victim services and the board? Or actual facility workers who have been consistent at keeping inmates within their prison. Let alone my own ears from the Aaron Kelsey escape?
So next, I turned to the PDF on Assessment Procedures to see how to get Joshua Scott reevaluated with the proper documents. Of coarse the first thing I needed was to get his escape attempt recognized and placed in his packet. Which the Marshall County Jail assures me that has been sent to all the facilities involved. I have no means of checking that but I have been assured it has been done. Then I read the sections again on higher level overrides. I've copied the parts that pertained to Mr. Scott below. ( you can look at the entire PDF above.)
Male Initial Custody Assessment Procedures
3. Discretionary Overrides for Higher Custody Level
The following items do not affect the offender’s assessed custody level, but are factors which may affect the custody level assignment and subsequent transfer to specific facilities. All requests must be documented regarding the reason for the override on the initial custody assessment and the chronological record.
1.      Circumstances of the Offense
If the current score undervalues the actual severity of the crime, an override may be necessary. Staff must document the aggravating characteristics of the crime being used for the override decision. The District Attorney’s Narrative or Information Sheet are examples of documentation that may explain aggravating characteristics.

AND.... 
4.      Sentence of Life/Life without Parole
Offenders who are convicted of Murder I and receive a sentence of Life/Life Without Parole will normally be placed at maximum security. Aggravating circumstances of the crime, offender’s age and prior criminal history should be considered when making a recommendation for override. 
Notice in 1. That it says that  The District Attorney’s Narrative or Information Sheet are examples of documentation that may explain aggravating characteristics. 
So, I contacted our DA, Craig Ladd and asked if that narrative was placed in his packet. The response I got was this...(copied from his email.)
              Tara,
I will try to get a narrative out today (crazy busy in court today though), can certainly            get one out this week.  It was my understanding that Narratives were critical when determining whether someone should be paroled early or not.  Since he was sentenced to LWOP, it seemed like a non-issue.  Now that I realize it could be an important consideration for where he will be housed, I will get on it ASAP.  
He assured me he has now sent that narrative to the prison system in Lexington to be added to his packet. He emailed me a copy as well that I have included here.
Next...
Notice in 4. That it says that Offenders who are convicted of Murder I and receive a sentence of Life/Life Without Parole will normally be placed at maximum security. So why was he not the norm? Are we just relying on the score sheet and a DA narrative that DA's do not know can be used so they are not doing them? Even so....were is the criteria.....really obtainable criteria for an override. As this PDF know reads to much is left to the discretion of the person administering the evaluation. 

Lastly....
Notice in the PDF of Assessment that the number of escapes earns the highest  number of points and the more escapes the more points keep being added. But the Severity of the Crime is one set of points. And again....history ways more. How the Prison Board explained it to me is even though there are 3 murders in Mr. Scott's case they all count as one crime in severity. Hardly seems fair because 3 escapes don't count as one in severity. To me this is a fatal flaw in the points system. This means as long as a serial killer or rapist ect.....has no prior history or convictions, no escape attempts....can be 5 or 10 that he gets charged for at one time, this person can meet the criteria to be only in a Medium Security Prison. This would be totally at the discretion of the evaluator. Without them having a criteria mistakes can be made and they are happening. 

It seems to me in my investigation of the process that something is going wrong from the prisoners being processed in Lexington and then out into their proper facilities. Either Lexington is incapable of sending the packets and processing people properly, or they are overwhelmed And need more people to help them with this process. This is what Dosha had conveyed to me about what is happening Lexington. She has had to take on making duplicate copies of the packets to have on hand because facilities are consistently contacting her in her county that the criminal's packets were not transferred from Lexington to their facilities. So again, I'm asking for help to please check into how this process works in Lexington. If Joshua Scott can fall through the cracks, how many others have fallen through the cracks as well? How many inmates are being placed in a minimum facility that should be in a medium or a medium that should be in a maximum?

I'm sure everyone would agree that no one with a life without parole sentence for murder, let alone three of them, should ever be outside of the maximum facility within the state of Oklahoma. Whatever it takes to get those laws and the procedures changed that allowed Joshua Scott to fall through this fatal crack I am willing to do and see through to the end. I am disturbed by certain authorities within the prison system and the board just nonchalantly pawning off this whole situation as "this is just the procedure" without taking the time to actually investigate where things went wrong. I have consistently in talking with them felt like they were covering themselves knowing how badly the system is working instead of taking the time and the proper procedures to make sure that things are being done correctly. 

Quite frankly victims shouldn't have to do all this. It is not my job to make sure that the man who murdered my daughter is convicted let alone housed properly in a facility so he could no longer hurt others. That is the state's job. I'm sure they see me as some over grieved parent but if they would take the time to actually investigate they would see Mr. Scott's evaluation was not done properly due to not having all the information in his transfers and I feel a gap in the Procedures Assessment that clearly allows for him to be upgraded to a higher security level but doesn't set a criteria for the Discretionary Overrides for Higher Custody Level . 


Simple Solutions that I think merit looking at......

First solution, I would propose is that all appropriate paperwork needs to be assigned with the offender from each prison or county jail transfer and the inmate cannot be transferred with out that paperwork with them. This can be done as a simple checklist that must be marked off by the officer who is doing the transfer and then again at the inmates evaluation. What I was told in this case involving Mr. Scott was that appropriate paperwork did not follow through the channels. Also things like Mr. Scott attempted escapes were not put into his evaluation or on his worksheet for appropriate points. The easiest solution to these problems would be to mandate that even if an offender does not have an escape history that must be documented in paperwork and sent with the offender. This way and doing the evaluation the person doing this within the system can see a definite no or yes that there was escape attempts with dates and listed of appropriate actions in order to give a proper evaluation. This should be included  along with history and other evaluation questions. If he has no prior history than the paperwork should reflect no there is no prior history. But if there is a history then yes should be marked. This information ....each one of these things can be mandated as mandatory paperwork that each facility must sign off on having before the evaluation can take place.

Secondly,  a solution could be that we raise the points under the seriousness of crime category. An easy way to do that is if the offender has multiple murders, multiple rapes or has consecutive life sentences. These are all examples of things where you can add points within those first three lines along with history and escape that would justify how serious the crime is that is committed. 
Or another solution to this could be that under this is discretionary custody level a criteria be set. For example, I will use the life or life without parole since that is the issue that I am more aware. Under that criteria you can put the type of crime serious crime rape, murder etc. have the box checked. Then ask key questions that allow for the override like..... 
Is this a manslaughter, first-degree or second-degree murder? 
If first-degree murder did they see receive a life with parole our life without parole sentencing?Did they receive multiple first-degree life without paroles? 
Were these convictions under first-degree life without parole to run consecutive or concurrent?  This is just an example that we can add values of points to that criteria that we can do the same thing with rape and other serious crimes and then under that criteria ...say, on a scale like we do for what facility they meet medium, minimum or maximum that this person has 0 to 2 points they can be placed into a medium facility and if this person has 3 to 5 points then they are to be placed in a maximum-security facility. This way it is just not left up to the discretion of the person evaluating. Also, it takes out of the fact or factor that a DA narrative will have to be submitted by DAs offices that aren't even aware that the narrative can be helped out of the equation saving paper work.

Lastly I would like considered this factor that victims have rights in the state of Oklahoma. We are sent a packet by the state of Oklahoma upon our family members death advising us of our victims rights. Our victims rights are seen through all the way through hearings, trials and the sentencing. Our victim statements are given impact and wait at the sentencing and conviction of the offenders who have hurt our family members. Suddenly once the offender is incarcerated victims have no rights or say over what happens during the incarceration.  In the case of Mr. Scott procedures and certain paperwork was not followed along with him and when we, as victims families started questioning we were treated like we were substandard, didn't know what was doing & had no rights or no say. No investigation was launched. We are still struggling to have everything put together and done properly for Mr. Scott's evaluation. An easy way to remedy that would be that upon and inmates classification the victim/victims families be notified of his classification and facility. Right now that is done through a voluntary system called VINE. But, I think it would be helpful that the first time it be mandatory that the victims and their families being notified. And then given the ability to file an appeal. Give the victims families 60 days/90 days to appeal, to the prison board and the prison that they do not think that the evaluation is done properly. Give them some kind of form to fill out so that they can say that this man has had escapes and you have missed this this paperwork needs to go back. Give the victims families the ability to say this crime was exceptionally serious please take a look at my victims impact statement given in court to help determine whether a discretionary override can be done by doing such a thing you would be giving victims the ability to help the system.

I would like to thank you for your time and consideration of not only our case but the system. Sometimes very simple things can be applied to create a better working system not only for the victims and the community but the State of Oklahoma and its employees. I would like to work together to create a system that benefits us all. I'm grateful for the opportunity to try.

Sincerely,
Tara Woodlee

My child, Ashleigh was my heart. When I see purple flowers, I can't help but think of her. Her memory comes over me in waves. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of her eyes in softened waves of blue water. Sometimes, I think these waves can fill oceans and I can see my hearts feelings on every shore. I have collections of each memory and every way I wish we had more time. Sometimes I watch for answers, each day I call out to her. "Mommy misses you and loves you." Everyday I pray to God. I ask for faith and courage And strength …to help me by till the day I'm back with her. Sometimes I ask for bravery because time moves ...oh so slowly! Sometimes I want to scream that this was not what I had planned! Sometimes I hear your laughter and I remember her joking and playing. I always miss Ashleigh! Not sometimes, but everyday! Why she ever suffered as Her mom I just can't understand. 

I tell people this all the time who do not understand.........A family is like a body. When a family loses a loved one, it is as if they have lost one of their limbs. The contribution that was made by the family member that was lost can never be replaced. That person is gone. Ashleigh is gone! What she brought to the family is gone. Is it important for the family to take time to grieve for this loss. Doing so is a matter of respect for Ashleigh that she passed away. That she is still remembered. It is also a step that the family must take to acknowledge its loss. If we do not take the time to honor Ashleigh, it is as if we are saying that she didn't matter to us.

There is no word, no label, no identifying maker for the mother who has lost a child. I am not a widow, not an orphan, not childless, but one child less. One granddaughter less as well. One less open laugh and little baby girl giggling. One less artful, winking manipulation from Ashleigh's eyes to get what she wants from you. One less word of comfort from her when I was down and one less grateful big hug. One less chance to embrace a daughter and one less new life to carry your eyes, your chin, your grin, your name. No one word for the pain, the longing, the brevity of a life meant for living! A divine soul meant to grow older than mine! Would there be any one price too high, any sacrifice too great, for one more moment, one more breath, one more warm touch. I grasp desperately and sense the closeness - the ONE just at the fingertips of my heart and mind, only to realize again and again and again, there is no "One"............Ashleigh is gone, Patience near born and I am - less.

Today I'm going to honor my Ashleigh by taking her flowers and a love letter to her grave. Please, other friends or family feel free to honor her memory and what she meant to you here or on any of her pages today. Ashleigh would very much like that as well. As so don't forget we are petitioning to have one of her murderers sent back to a maximum security prison. If you could sign that in her honor and pass it along the family would be grateful. 

It's been no secret that I have been down the last few weeks. And I've been struggling with losing Ashleigh. But I wanted to share some good news that I had gotten today. It has me really excited but first I have to tell you about a dream I had the other night, because the two kind of tied in together for me.

Three nights ago, I had this dream where I was down in the downtown area during the festival and the streets were full of people and I was looking for Ashleigh. Well, I'm running and looking for her everywhere and instead I ran into my grandma. My grandma was standing there before me and she was the most beautiful I have ever seen her. I ran into her arms and I cried and she held me close. I said,"grandma I can't find Ashleigh and I miss her." My grandma said,"I know. She is always close by." I said that I can't find her and I'm lost without her then my grandma told me that Ashleigh  was just really busy but if I needed her to just call her. So, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and my grandma reached over and grabbed it and said," no not with that. Just call out her name and she will come." So I started yelling out," Ashleigh .... Ashleigh." And then Ashleigh appeared. She was beautiful and I ran straight for her arms and hug her and cried on her shoulder. I then told her, "I miss you and I love you" and she told me," I know, I miss and love you too." I said,"I want to be with you I want to be together again." She told me she wanted to be with me too and we hug and cried. I said, "okay well I'm staying with you." And she said, "mom you can. Right now I have things that I have to do on my own. You have things you have to do on your own. And into they are done we can't be together again." I told her I didn't care I wanted to be with her. She said," I love you mom I have to go it will be okay we'll be together again soon." She started to leave and I followed her. She turned around and cocked her little head and put her arm on her waist and got this big attitude with me and said, "Mom! You can't come with me you have to stay here but when your work is done then we can be together again and it won't be as long as you think." I cried. I said okay. And then she left.

I tell you this because I was really really upset thinking I didn't care what it was that I had still to do, I just wanted to be with Ashleigh. But then today I got a wake up call from a senator from Oklahoma named Josh Bersheen. He called me this morning in response to email I sent him. The email was to discuss writing new legislation that would protect other women from things that have happened to Ashleigh. He had agreed for me to write down what we had discussed and send it to him and that he would help write bills to put before the state of Oklahoma that would change women and children's lives that were involved in domestic violence. It could save women and keep the system from failing them the way fell Ashleigh and Patience. So now, I have this whole big plan of how I'm going to do this and how to not only get it done in a Oklahoma,Texas and every state in the union.

Then to make my day even better I find out from the organization I Will Stand International who is our parent chapter for the Ashleigh's Patience Project that we got our 501(c)(3) approval today. So things are moving rather fast. I'm not sure what all God has planned with all of this but I know that these are the things that Ashleigh said that need to be done before we could be together again. Ashleigh, I will get them done and I will have great legacy to leave behind for future generations of young women. Mommy loves you!!! .

So be looking for in the next couple of months for me to be putting up Ashleigh's and Patience's Laws and I hope that you the public who have been so supportive will help back these laws. Ashleigh's law will be based on the emergency protective order system. So that other want young women will not be stocked from the courthouse to her home to be found by her abusers. Patience's law will be based on if an abuser attacks a pregnant woman with intent to hurt or kill the pregnant baby. Then a protective order will be extended over that child upon birth until a family court judge can determine visitation. Those are just the basics of what they will be about.

I am really excited to get this done and make a difference so that no other mother should have to bury a child or grandchild and see the system failed them the way I saw them fail my Ashleigh and Patience.

I survived the passing of another Friday the 13th and in one more month it will be 2 years since Ashleigh and Patience were murdered. I've learned a lot during this time. Somethings a mother shouldn't have to learn. Things like it is OK to say my child was murdered. Not that the murder its self was alright but  to use of the word Murder. I have experienced the death of other loved ones and terms like, "Passing Away", "Unfortunate Accident", "Tragic Death", etc.... but she was taken and not just passed on. Murder is the proper term and it has no reflection on me as her mom. I have felt guilty that since Ashleigh died, I have never hurt as much as I did the day I let her go. I have felt guilty that I have been hurting more than others  think I should have. I have wondered if my thoughts, feelings, or behavior after her loss are normal. Often my judgements of myself has been triggered by what family members, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and even strangers are telling me about what I should  and should not be thinking, feeling, and doing.

The weeks following the murder were filled with cards, visits, phone calls but as the weeks turned into months people just normally go back to their daily life while I am still hurting and in need of those same things - cards, visits and phone calls. The first few weeks I was in shock and although I was hurting I hadn't completely grasped the loss or the loneliness. As the brevity of the event sets in I needed those things more than ever and I am thankful for the friends who have continued to minister to me even to this day. I can only speak about the loss of a child but right after the loss as well as now, it makes me so happy to hear one of my friends talk about my daughter and especially to say her name. It is normal for you to feel like you will upset the hurting friend by not bringing up the loved one or trying to make them think about something else, but the truth is that it is actually comforting to hear someone speak about the loved one. Right after my loss and even more so today, it gives me such joy to hear someone talk about my daughter and especially to say her name.  I'm not sure why hearing her name is so comforting but I have talked to several other parents who have also lost a child and they have reported the same thing.  It may be that after losing a child, a parent has a fear of the child being forgotten. After losing my daughter  there were some things that comforted me and others that actually hurt although they were well meaning. I do feel that after going through that experience I can better minister to others who are going through something similar.

Many people who genuinely want to help the bereaved believe they are helping by becoming "The Grief Police" . These are those people who give unsolicited advice about what to do and what not to do often comes at the bereaved from every which way, each of the advice givers seemingly convinced that they know how this is supposed to be done. “Stay busy, so you wonʼt have time to think about it.” “Go away for the Holidays.” “Donʼt go away for the Holidays.” “Go back to work as soon as you can.” “Donʼt go back to work too early.” “Get rid of everything in the house that reminds you of her.“ "Move out of the house.” "Think of things this way" “You wouldnʼt want her to be alive and still suffering, would you? Be happy sheʼs not suffering anymore.” “Itʼll be OK because God doesnʼt give you any more than you can handle.” “You have another grandbaby.” “That baby wouldnʼt have been normal anyway.” “She’s in a better place.”

What these comments - and many others like them  have in common is an underlying message........ if you would just change the way youʼre thinking about this, you wouldnʼt feel so sad, and it wouldnʼt be so bad. The intention may be very well meaning  caring that someone is sad and wanting to say something that will make the person feel better. But these kinds of comments rarely if ever make a grieving person feel better. They send the messages that you donʼt understand what theyʼre experiencing and you think theyʼre not thinking about this or doing this the right way. Grieving people typically find these comments hurtful and/or annoying, even when they know the person means well.

A welcome alternative to being the Grief Police is offering some Grief Relief. The statement, “I'm sorry for your loss,” said sincerely, says it all. Saying little and listening a lot if or when they want to talk about it is helpful. Providing comfort is not going to come from something we say. Being comforting means walking with them with understanding and empathy as they stumble along their path of grief, not trying to rush them along, not telling them what we think they should think and should not think, not telling them what we think they should feel and not feel, not giving them unsolicited advice about what to do and what not to do. Not being The Grief Police. But, rather, being with them, listening to them when they want to talk about it, and trusting that they will find their way along the healing process.

You would be surprised how few people really know the art of being a comforting soul. I have a handful who I truly love. One of my favorite people is my Niece, Sarah. She is never afraid to talk about Ashleigh. She lets me express my feelings with never any judgment or awkward looks. I doesn't bother her if I say, "oh, Ashleigh loved that book!" it is a simple thing. If I had said that while she was alive no one would have thought twice about it....Ever! Now it makes people audibly gasp like they expect me to fall apart at any moment. The most wonderful thing Sarah has done for me is if the conversation does turn sad she doesn't end it abruptly or say, "lets change the subject." No she immediately calls to mind a funny or happy Ashleigh moment and makes me smile. If only others could learn from Sarah! Feeling understood and accepted is very comforting.One person who resists being the Grief Police to a grieving person and communicates understanding and empathy is worth their weight in gold.

So, instead of saying, “Well, at least, she’s not suffering anymore. That’s good,” you could say, “This is a hard time.” Instead of trying to talk me out of what I'm thinking and feeling, which does not work, anyway, you’re showing me that you care that this is a hard time for me. Not with sympathy, like you’re seeing me as pathetic and you’re feeling sorry for me, but with empathy, like you’re seeing me with respect as a fellow human being who is going through a hard time and you care that I'm in a hard place.  You’re not trying to get me out of the hard place, which you can’t do anyway. You’re standing with me or walking with me where I am. As a caring companion, allowing me to be where I am at this moment. In my own way and in my own time frame.

In conclusion, the less you say when you’re with a grieving person, the better. Do not try to make them look on the bright side or replace the fear and sadness that is associated with a murdered loved one with sayings about celebrating life when they are in a bad place.  Remember big ears, little mouth. This is not the time to talk about your own losses or your experience with people who were ill. This is a time to listen and be very attentive to what their experience is. You could think of yourself as an explorer in a foreign land doing your best to understand what life is like for them, how they see the world, and what they’re feeling and thinking. Not in order to judge them but in order to understand them and meet them where they are.

I'm having a bad moment right now. Today I received from the court lots of documents from court over Ashleigh's murder case. There is a lot to read and look over. I'm really just getting started but in just flipping thru them I came across a small statement done by Ashleigh herself. It was written 2 years ago on the 4th of July. I didn't expect to see that. I can see her handwriting and signature before me plain as day. What is worse I can hear her voice as I read it. I remember the terror she experienced that day. The statement reads.....

My ex-fiancé, Joshua Mahaffey called me this evening around 10pm. He was able to tell me exactly what I was wearing to work. He says, he will see me tomorrow at some time. He then called me as I went to leave my house and asked, "why I was leaving?" He then threatened me saying his friend would beat my mouth shut and they were going to take the baby from me. He threatened my friend Jordan and Robert saying they would be beaten within an inch of their lives. We then called the police. He has created over 20 fake Facebooks. Two of the Facebooks have my name on them. He has harassed every friend I went to high school with trying to find me. Ashleigh Lindsey

She called me crying and scared. I was on the phone with her as she talked with police that night. It has sent me back to that awful place in time. It is heartbreaking!!! People don't understand what it is like to lose a child let alone enduring the terror of madmen determined to kill her. 
Here is what is even more heartbreaking..........tonight there is another woman out there, actually several making the same report and facing the same terror. And within and matter of days her mother will be weeping over her baby girl. This is the real face of Domestic Violence!!! Help others become aware......make yourself aware. If anything gives Ashleigh's death meaning it is every life that is saved because it changed someone's heart and they got out.
I'm sure tonight will be a night of tears as I finish looking over the court documents and as I mourn, I will pray no one else has to ever feel this way again. And I will cry out Ashleigh's name before I go to sleep tonight and ask for the good memories to flood my dreams. 

I just got home from one of the areas shelters. Tonight I spoke not only about Ashleigh but about my story and the generations of abuse than had run back a 100 years in my family. I thanked Ashleigh because without her I would have never found my voice. The death of Ashleigh was hard but living without her daily since is even more painful than words can express. Even if all I do is help just one more person then I will. The voice my daughter gave me has helped me heal from my own abusive past. My worth/value comes from me and depends on no one else now. I will cherish and use this gift till I can be with her again. I'm so very proud of my daughter and her strength. I would like to say she got it from her mama, but I think she left a little behind for me. What ever the case, her story and mine are linked forever. Generations of silence is now broken but it took losing Ashleigh before that could be undone. No more! I cried out tonight. Not for my family or any family, as long as I can help it. 
I love you Ashleigh!

Today, I went to the cemetery. The grounds were full of people today placing flowers on the graves of their mothers. I think I was the only mother there for her daughter. But I made Ashleigh a promise long ago and for as long as I live it will be a solemn oath I keep. You see, while Ashleigh was growing up she would see all these moms getting the standard orchard corsage and want one. Orchards are her favorite flower so every year she begged for one. It didn’t matter that she was not a mom and only 8 years old. So, I told her that when she became a mom I would buy her orchards on Mother’s Day. Of coarse, waiting that long was not good enough for our little Ashleigh. No! She had to negotiate and get a better deal. I can still hear her little voice question, ”Can I have them Every Mother’s Day?”  I said yes. She never forgot and reminded me every year. She made me promise so, I did. I cried a lot today. She got her orchards but it has torn me apart knowing I will never get to see her face, the excitement of me not forgetting. The men who killed her stole that from me. They stole so many things. Today I grieved for not just Ashleigh and Patience but for every generation that would have come from them.

I read recently that grieving parents do not live as long. I can understand why, I feel the drain on me in everyway possible. My body, my mind and my spirit received and very fatal blow. I turn on the news and everyday one more mother is crying for her child. So, today I went to downtown Dallas after my visit with Ashleigh. I went to the “Bring Our Girls Home “ Rally. In Nigeria so many mother had their daughters taken from them. The pain of that is unbearable as a mother no matter what your Nationality, Race, or Religion. I stood with these people at the Plaza praying, hoping that these girls are givin back to the mothers who cry out for help. It was a positive to my day. A way for me to stand up and say No More!

Then I met my surviving daughter, Raechel and my granddaughter, Laney for dinner at Romas. Raechel had been so supportive today. She had to work but she bought Ashleigh some roses that I took to her grave for her. Raechel also bought me a red shirt to wear to the Rally. She thought it was great for me to go and that Ashleigh would have really liked it. But what made my day more than anything else was Raechel telling me that I taught her everything she knows and how to be a good mom. I am glad she feels like I was a good mother to her. You see secretly every surviving mother struggles with this evil demon inside. It tells you daily how awful a mother you are because you couldn’t protect your child. Somedays, you can ignore the demon and others it catches you by the throat and nearly chokes the life out of you. Today was that day. But I’m still here and tomorrow is another day.

Tonight I want to let everyone know that I have added something to the Ashleigh Patience Project Website. A Grieving Mothers Blog. I went in and pulled posts from the R.I.P page and constructed a blog that shows my journey thru the grieving process but will continue from this day forward with new post. This is for anyone but especially for grieving parents so they can see that there is no wrong way to grieve! I’ve called it Stolen Generations. You can go on the site and receive each new blog by email if you like. I hope you will pass it on to other grieving parents you know. It is been a blessing to have so many who have been so supportive.

God Bless and Happy Mother’s Day,

Tara Woodlee

Reposting this from Kristen with Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence I have no doubt Ashleigh was one of the Angels Soaring in the flames. It is such a comfort that others remember my daughter and honor her in such beautiful ways. Please watch......Tara 

***This video was not photoshopped or edited in any way. This is the raw footage from the 2014 BTS Women's Retreat. ***

This weekend an amazing organization, Break the Silence against Domestic Violence, hosted an all women's revitalization retreat for victims and survivors of violence. 36 women from all around the country attended this life changing event in hopes of transformation - we all can agree that transformation happened. 

Our breakthrough activity was a letter writing exercise where we all wrote letters to our Abusers. Writing is a huge way to express yourself especially if you've experienced abuse. We then shared our letters in groups with our fellow BTS SISTERS. After sharing we decided to move on we wanted to burn our letters and so we did. As I threw in the letters one by one, the attendees dedicated our letters to our angels who have been murdered from domestic violence and those in our lives who still suffer from abuse. 

At the end of the burning ritual, I decided to play a song written and sung by Terry Josiah Sharpe - Angels Will Soar. My words before turning on the song were "May our Angels Always Soar.." And soar is exactly what they did..

A few angels we dedicated our letters to were my sisters Brandi, Ashleigh, and MRD.
This video is mind-blowing and shocking and hopefully you'll be inspired as we were!