Ashleigh's Patience Project

  • Home
    • Mission Statement
    • Ashleigh's Board
  • Ashleigh's Story
    • Ashleigh (The Firecracker)
    • Stolen Generations Blog (Journey for grieving mothers)
    • News & Links >
      • Media Coverage of Murder Trial
      • Media Coverage APP Raising Awareness
    • Victim Impact Statements (during the Joshua Scott Trial)
  • Donate
  • Photo/Video Gallery
    • Ashleigh's Videos
    • Tara's Videos and Gallery
  • DV Resources
    • Partner Violence Information
    • Domestic Violence Signs
    • Abuse Types and Cycle Wheel
    • Safety Plan
    • Find a Shelter
    • Survivor Group Affiliations
  • Song-"Cowgirl Up"
  • Ashleigh's & Patience's Laws
  • Ashleigh's Angel Run
  • Operation: Share Ashleigh's Heart
    • Operation: Share Ashleigh's Heart Blog
    • 21 Day Challenge
  • Contact Us
    • Guest Book
    • Events Calender
    • Reserve Tara To Speak
    • Contact for Press Release

Fullness of Ashleigh's Love (1 year since her murder)

7/13/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
One year ago today I lost the one person that I felt closest to in this world. Ashleigh was my heart and soul. I kept asking myself today, "how do you move on from the murder of a child?" I dont know how......I spent most of my day as what I would describe as empty and numb. I caught myself each hour doing a countdown. 12:35 pm was the last time I heard her voice say, "I love you Mommy!" 1:46pm Joshua shot her. 5:35 the doctors said she was no longer responsive. 6:23pm she ha...d to be resuscitated. 7:10pm the OB said the babies hearts ate was failing. 8:30pm they talked to us about organ donation. 10:10pm they declared her brain dead. 11:45pm I watched my granddaughter, Patience's final heartbeat on the sonogram, then I let Ashleigh go and kissed her goodbye and just before midnight her heart stopped. I remember that all I felt then to was numb and empty.
As I struggled with all this, I realized I'm not in the same place I was a year ago. A big piece of me went with my Daughter And her baby girl but today I'm not as empty as I was that day. people who feel empty have no idea what is supposed to be in that empty space. That is not me......
Since I started this battle against the Domestic violence that took my child, I've worked with people who have everything they believed would fill them up and they still feel empty. They seek my help because they are suffering and they don't know what to do about it. Inner emptiness does not come from a lack of something external -- not even a lack of being loved by someone else. It comes from a lack of one thing only: a lack of awareness of the love that is the energy we live in. I call this love God. The fact is, we live in a universe of love, and unless you know how to open yourself to that love -- to feel it within your heart and soul -- you will feel empty inside. Once you know how to embrace the love within, then you not only feel full inside, but you know that you are not alone in the universe -- that love is always here for you. And once you experience yourself full to overflowing with love, you will have love to share with others. You no longer need to try so hard to get love from others. You are no longer empty and needy for something external to fill your emptiness and make you feel okay.
What is The Secret to Filling Yourself With Love? The love that fills us is always available to each of us -- if we know how to access it.Love automatically flows through an open heart. The heart is like a doorway to the universe -- to God, when it is open, love flows into and through us.The secret to having an open heart and being filled up with love lies with your intent. Love cannot be felt with a closed heart.When you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself, the heart automatically opens. When you want responsibility for defining your own worth, for creating your own sense of safety, and for taking loving action in your own behalf, the heart opens and the energy of love that is spirit flows freely, replacing the empty feeling with the fullness of love.
Ashleigh Marie Lindsey had this fullness of love in her heart. Yes, a part of me is gone but today my heart is full. She is happy, in no more pain, waiting for us all to happily join her again. Ashleigh would want us all even in the midst of all this pain that we feel at not having her here today to feel in our hearts the fullness of this love, God's love. So in her beautiful memory, today the one year Anniversary of her passing, I planted 12 purple Iris's over her grave. One for each month she has been gone and planted 1 pink peony for my little Patience Lynn and I share with you all the fullness of Ashleigh's Love.
God Bless
Tara

1 Comment
Tammy Love link
5/28/2014 11:49:52 am

I came upon your site after putting in my own daughters name, my Ashleigh was murdered Oct. 6, 2009 when some monsters broke into our home and preceded to shoot and kill her, to this day they remain free. I couldn't help but read your beautiful tribute to your daughter, I am so very sorry for your loss, your beautiful child and yet to be born granddaughter. Please know, I get the feelings you have, and am so very sorry. God blessings to you all.....Tammy Love

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    Tara Woodlee

    This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.

    The murder of a child is even worse and puts you in a very exclusive club (for lack of a better term) and even more exclusive is to have your grandchild murdered as well. It is a STOLEN GENERATION at the hands of the man/father who was suppose to love and protect them.


    I have decided to share this journey so that other parents can see that what they feel is in no way wrong. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE! This is my personal journey.

    Archives

    June 2016
    June 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012

    Categories

    All
    Ashleigh Lindsey
    Domestic Violence
    Grieving Mom
    Muder/suicide

    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    RSS Feed

Website by Ashleigh's Patience Project