Last night I was distraught. 2 months ago today my precious youngest daughter passed away. I went into my truck of my car to get something out and her clothes I picked up last week were still there. I hadn't had the heart to bring them in the house yet. Anyway the trunk open and it immediately hit me.......her smell. I looked down and I could envision her in the things she use to wear and I found ...myself hugging her clothes as if she was in them. My heart was torn in two for she was not there. I was crying out loud looking up to the night sky praying she would somehow magically fill them so I could hug her just once more. Of coarse it didn't happen and I just shut the trunk, leaving her clothes behind. It was all to much. I came in in house and prayed for comfort and then got on my IPad looking at facebook and the news till I feel asleep with it on my lap in bed. I turn it back on the morning and this is what was on it when I opened the internet..........A shadow of joy flickered; it is me. I told you I wouldn't leave. My memories, my thoughts are imbedded deep in your heart. I still love you. Do not for one moment think that you have been abandoned. I am in the Light. In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard ~ these are the places I stay with you. My spirit rises every time you pray for me, but my energy comes closer to you. Love does not diminish; it grows stronger. I am the feather that finds you in the yard, the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind, I place our memories for you to see. We lived in our special way, a way that now has its focus changed. I still crave your understanding and long for the many words of prayer and good fortune for my soul. I am in the Light. As you struggle to adjust without me, I watch silently. Sometimes I summon up all the strength of my new world to make you notice me. Impressed by your grief, I try to impress my love deeper into your consciousness. As you should, I call out to the Heavens for help. You should know that the fountain of youth does exist. My soul is now healthy. Your love sends me new found energy. I am adjusting to this new world. I am with you and I am in the Light. Please don't feel bad that you can't see me. I am with you wherever you go. I protect you, just as you protected me so many times. Talk to me and somehow I will find a way to answer you. Mother, Father, son or daughter, it makes no difference. Brother, sister, lover, husband or wife, it makes no difference. Whatever our connection ~ friend or even foe ~ I see you with my new eyes. I am learning to help wherever you are, wherever I am needed. This can be done because I am in the Light. When you feel despair, reach out to me. I will come. My love for you truly does transcend from Heaven to Earth. Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest that you had when we were together in the physical sense. You owe this to me, but more importantly, you owe it to yourself. Life continues for both of us. I am with you because I love you and I am in the Light. -- Author Unknown It was on a page of poetry with this poem. I don't know how it got there because I sure wasn't on it. I had to share because I felt it just wasn't me she was speaking to but all of us she loved and loved her. I love and miss you so much Ashleigh Lindsey!
This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.
Website by Ashleigh's Patience Project