Lessons During Church Revival

I just love this picture. One of the other moms from my grieving mothers groups made it for me. That makes it extra special. My church has been having a Revival all this week and I have been there every night. It has helped to raise my spirit and feel more focused. Bro. Jeff Johnson was talking to me last night. We talked about how the pain of losing Ashleigh will just never go away. Also, about what a special type of ministry this has become for me and Jim. I never believed anything good could come out of such evil but Ashleigh always believed that way. That good would always triumph. I believe that is why her memory and legacy has touched many others so that good can triumph. 
We also talked about Coping.....he said that he was once asked to define Coping. This was his definition....I'm doing a little better today than I was yesterday.....wow, that is so true! They are days that are a million steps backwards but then you just end up starting again, Coping. Then we sang during the services last night and one of the hymns was Because He Lives. This is one of the verses and chorus..
And then one day
I'll cross that river
I'll fight life's final war with pain
And then as death gives way to vict'ry
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know he lives
Because He lives I can face tomorrow
Because He lives all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives

While I was singing, I realized because he lives, Ashleigh lives. Isn't that beautiful? I want her here so much and it is extremely painful to be without her. But because he lives my future is with her and with Patience. Doesn't that make life worth the living? I think so.....

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Today, I openly cried in church. That hasn't happened the last few months but today was different. We had a special speaker for a revival week that started this Sunday. He used an illustration that got to me. I don't think Bro. Jeff Johnson will care that I am sharing it so....
He talked about how he and his wife would visit friends when his kids were little. When it got late they would lay the girls down in a bedroom and they would go to sleep. When him and his wife were ready to go home he would pick up the girls put them in the car, drive home and put them to bed. The next morning one of his daughters asked how she got home. She didn't know or remember how she had gotten home or in bed. He told her, "you had fallen asleep in a place that was not home, I picked you up, and carried you home." He used that to relate our time here is not home, really. How when we die God takes us to our eternal home. 
It got to me and I cried. I could see my Ashleigh in his illustration and I have not waivered in belief that she is truly eternal, home and safe. I miss her so much. But my work here isn't done but when it is I am more than ready to sleep and be carried home.

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