Ashleigh's Patience Project

  • Home
    • Mission Statement >
      • APP Goals
  • Ashleigh's Story
    • Ashleigh (The Firecracker)
    • Stolen Generations Blog (Journey for grieving mothers)
    • News & Links >
      • Media Coverage of Murder Trial
      • Media Coverage APP Raising Awareness
    • Victim Impact Statements (during the Joshua Scott Trial)
  • Donate
  • Photo/Video Gallery
    • Ashleigh's Videos
    • Tara's Videos and Gallery
  • DV Resources
    • Partner Violence Information
    • Domestic Violence Signs
    • Abuse Types and Cycle Wheel
    • Safety Plan
    • Find a Shelter
    • Survivor/Survivor Family Resources
  • Song-"Cowgirl Up"
  • Ashleigh's & Patience's Laws
  • Ashleigh's Angel Run
  • Operation: Share Ashleigh's Heart
    • Operation: Share Ashleigh's Heart Blog
    • 21 Day Challenge
  • Contact Us
    • Guest Book
    • Events Calender
    • Reserve Tara To Speak
    • Contact for Press Release

Living Life (9 months since passing away)

4/13/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
There are absolutely no words to describe the darkness that befalls you when your child dies. There is no light; the laughter in life is gone. Life goes from busy and noisy with the demands of family to the silence. You want to rise out of this world of death, past the whispered “that poor family” the endless"I'm sorry". The only problem is that life has no "normal"after you lose a child. We moved like zombies, no longer living life but living death. We found it impossible to inexplicably have Ashleigh stripped from ourlives, somehow deal with the permanence that she and the baby were murdered. Books told me that our family would get over these awful feelings. I didn't want toget over losing her. I prayed about it.  I just didn't believe that following the rules of death would bring us back to life again.

When we finally got through the shock stage & grief consumed me. Then I drifted into little reminders of Ashleigh's life. Her favorite song on the radio.Her favorite musical on cable. A favorite story shared by a friend. What might be painful encounters for many actually felt like little hellos to me.  It was a rebirth of the funny, active young woman with whom I wanted to stay in my heart, and further away from the details of the murder, which physically took her from our lives. The more I looked forsigns and symbols of Ashleigh's life, the more they came our way. Instead of spending my days in bed under the covers, I found myself looking for hope and a continued connection to our little girl. It would've been easier to say goodbye and let go of her place in our lives. Instead, we worked hard to find healthy ways to keep her close.

Some of the signs we've received over the past 9 months have been quite impressive, and we acknowledge them as confirmation that Ashleigh, our little guardian angel, is watching over us. The needs of her friends to escape the same violence. Rainbows at the most unlikely of times. Seeing her during my accident on the way to Raechel’s Wedding. Getting such blessings that kept passing her story along till finally now it is in Cosmo. And soon forever immortalized in song and a documentary. Along the way I hear Ashleigh tell me that she andGod are proud of the work we are doing.

I started to call our steps toward hope and healing, "moving forward but hanging on." Going on without Ashleigh & Patience cheated us all. Moving forward with them still spiritually and symbolically close was the true answer for our family. Following this path led us in a new direction on theroad of grief, one in which our daughters murder is saving others’ lives. We areliving life again, not death. I began telling the story of our journey back tolight and life after the darkest days we ever knew. It is not a tale of miracles that can bring back our beloved daughter and her baby or how moms canturn tragedy into triumph with a kiss on the forehead. It is, however, thetruth of what good can happen when you decide that you love someone so much,you just can't say goodbye. I feel that it's especially true when the someone you've lost is your child.

Love you Ashleigh & Patience……Mommy



Cosmopolitan Article          Cowgirl Up Song         A.P.P. Documentary

Intimate  Terrorism
Listen to Cowgirl Up
Watch Documentary Trailers
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    Tara Woodlee

    This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.

    The murder of a child is even worse and puts you in a very exclusive club (for lack of a better term) and even more exclusive is to have your grandchild murdered as well. It is a STOLEN GENERATION at the hands of the man/father who was suppose to love and protect them.


    I have decided to share this journey so that other parents can see that what they feel is in no way wrong. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE! This is my personal journey.

    Archives

    June 2016
    June 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012

    Categories

    All
    Ashleigh Lindsey
    Domestic Violence
    Grieving Mom
    Muder/suicide

    Subscribe to Ashleigh's Patience Project - Stolen Generatio

    RSS Feed

Website by Ashleigh's Patience Project