This morning Ashleigh's dad and I went to church. Not unusual but today was different. Before Ashleigh died we use to all sit together up towards the front. Most of the time we were the front row....most people avoid the front but since I'm short and Jim is half deaf we liked it because we could hear and see better. Lol Anyways after Ashleigh died I had to sit at the back during Sunday Service. I cried a lot especially those first 6 months or so and just didn't want everyone to see me crying. Also I could step out easily if I needed too. Today, Jim and I looked at each other and decided it was time. Time to move back up and sit were we as a family with our daughters sat. I thought I would have cried the first time but I didn't. Actually it was quite the opposite! I felt such great joy. Jim did as well. For some reason it felt like Ashleigh was next to me like she was every Sunday. I felt a burden lift from both my husband and I at church today. I can not real explain it better than that it just felt good. It one point I thought I could hear her voice....."mom, it was about time!" Now thinking about going to the choir practice for the Christmas program. Something inside me again says it is time.
This is a chronicle of the grieving process at the murder of my daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey and her unborn Baby Patience Lynn. They call the parentless child an orphan & the married person who loses their mate a widow/widower but what do they call a parent who loses a child? There is no word given for the parent who have seen this kind of untimely death.
Website by Ashleigh's Patience Project