Today, I went to the cemetery. The grounds were full of people today placing flowers on the graves of their mothers. I think I was the only mother there for her daughter. But I made Ashleigh a promise long ago and for as long as I live it will be a solemn oath I keep. You see, while Ashleigh was growing up she would see all these moms getting the standard orchard corsage and want one. Orchards are her favorite flower so every year she begged for one. It didn’t matter that she was not a mom and only 8 years old. So, I told her that when she became a mom I would buy her orchards on Mother’s Day. Of coarse, waiting that long was not good enough for our little Ashleigh. No! She had to negotiate and get a better deal. I can still hear her little voice question, ”Can I have them Every Mother’s Day?” I said yes. She never forgot and reminded me every year. She made me promise so, I did. I cried a lot today. She got her orchards but it has torn me apart knowing I will never get to see her face, the excitement of me not forgetting. The men who killed her stole that from me. They stole so many things. Today I grieved for not just Ashleigh and Patience but for every generation that would have come from them.
I read recently that grieving parents do not live as long. I can understand why, I feel the drain on me in everyway possible. My body, my mind and my spirit received and very fatal blow. I turn on the news and everyday one more mother is crying for her child. So, today I went to downtown Dallas after my visit with Ashleigh. I went to the “Bring Our Girls Home “ Rally. In Nigeria so many mother had their daughters taken from them. The pain of that is unbearable as a mother no matter what your Nationality, Race, or Religion. I stood with these people at the Plaza praying, hoping that these girls are givin back to the mothers who cry out for help. It was a positive to my day. A way for me to stand up and say No More!
Then I met my surviving daughter, Raechel and my granddaughter, Laney for dinner at Romas. Raechel had been so supportive today. She had to work but she bought Ashleigh some roses that I took to her grave for her. Raechel also bought me a red shirt to wear to the Rally. She thought it was great for me to go and that Ashleigh would have really liked it. But what made my day more than anything else was Raechel telling me that I taught her everything she knows and how to be a good mom. I am glad she feels like I was a good mother to her. You see secretly every surviving mother struggles with this evil demon inside. It tells you daily how awful a mother you are because you couldn’t protect your child. Somedays, you can ignore the demon and others it catches you by the throat and nearly chokes the life out of you. Today was that day. But I’m still here and tomorrow is another day.
Tonight I want to let everyone know that I have added something to the Ashleigh Patience Project Website. A Grieving Mothers Blog. I went in and pulled posts from the R.I.P page and constructed a blog that shows my journey thru the grieving process but will continue from this day forward with new post. This is for anyone but especially for grieving parents so they can see that there is no wrong way to grieve! I’ve called it Stolen Generations. You can go on the site and receive each new blog by email if you like. I hope you will pass it on to other grieving parents you know. It is been a blessing to have so many who have been so supportive.
God Bless and Happy Mother’s Day,
Tara Woodlee
I read recently that grieving parents do not live as long. I can understand why, I feel the drain on me in everyway possible. My body, my mind and my spirit received and very fatal blow. I turn on the news and everyday one more mother is crying for her child. So, today I went to downtown Dallas after my visit with Ashleigh. I went to the “Bring Our Girls Home “ Rally. In Nigeria so many mother had their daughters taken from them. The pain of that is unbearable as a mother no matter what your Nationality, Race, or Religion. I stood with these people at the Plaza praying, hoping that these girls are givin back to the mothers who cry out for help. It was a positive to my day. A way for me to stand up and say No More!
Then I met my surviving daughter, Raechel and my granddaughter, Laney for dinner at Romas. Raechel had been so supportive today. She had to work but she bought Ashleigh some roses that I took to her grave for her. Raechel also bought me a red shirt to wear to the Rally. She thought it was great for me to go and that Ashleigh would have really liked it. But what made my day more than anything else was Raechel telling me that I taught her everything she knows and how to be a good mom. I am glad she feels like I was a good mother to her. You see secretly every surviving mother struggles with this evil demon inside. It tells you daily how awful a mother you are because you couldn’t protect your child. Somedays, you can ignore the demon and others it catches you by the throat and nearly chokes the life out of you. Today was that day. But I’m still here and tomorrow is another day.
Tonight I want to let everyone know that I have added something to the Ashleigh Patience Project Website. A Grieving Mothers Blog. I went in and pulled posts from the R.I.P page and constructed a blog that shows my journey thru the grieving process but will continue from this day forward with new post. This is for anyone but especially for grieving parents so they can see that there is no wrong way to grieve! I’ve called it Stolen Generations. You can go on the site and receive each new blog by email if you like. I hope you will pass it on to other grieving parents you know. It is been a blessing to have so many who have been so supportive.
God Bless and Happy Mother’s Day,
Tara Woodlee
Bring Back Our Girls Rally in Dallas, Tx | |
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