Finally feeling more like myself after the wedding and the accident. I can not lie, yesterday was really hard to get thru. Last St. Patericks Day, Joshua proposed to Ashleigh while the whole family was together bowling. I came across the pictures I took of them on my phone. It was so hard to look at them both smiling and happy. I kept asking myself, "How....how could he do this to her and himself? How could he leave both families in all this pain? How could he take little Patience life?" I guess it will be a long time before I get those questions answered. Raechel and I talked about what we could have done different that day. What would have happened if we would have expressed our concerns and not pretended and gave our permissions. Hard to live on what if's....especially when it would have changed nothing. What a waist of a beautiful life. I miss her a lot!
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